Decades are important; at least they are now. Decades describe a generation’s skew on a period of time. Like the ‘60s which has come to symbolize the birth of rock, the free spirit, and the sexual revolution. These time periods represent a significant shift in our culture that goes beyond a fad. But, they don’t always get it right. For example, the ‘70s are often blamed for the dreaded Disco craze which in truth did start in that decade, but didn’t get to full speed until after 1977. Does three years make up a decade? Disco actually carried on into the ‘80s because trends are not restricted to decades; but we are when we describe them.
Free love did start in the ‘60s, and carried on into the ‘70s only they changed its name to the sexual revolution. There weren’t any guns involved and they didn’t have a leader, but it was revolutionary on how they treated sex. The ‘70s became the Me generation and the battle cry of the revolution was, “If it feels good. Do it!” Unfortunately the battle cry found its way into our entertainment/behavioural master, television. The T.V. production studios saw the sexual revolution responding by sinking their venom filled fangs deep into it. Suddenly we were subject to a new type of horror no one saw coming. It was the birth of the made for T.V. movie.
Sort of like a regular movie in length, but so different in content and value. It started as special presentations linked to current trends, but eventually morphed into sub-par nonsense vehicles for one hit wonder stars to flex their acting skills. Almost always a failure, they didn’t stop coming. In fact, by the time we were half way through the decade there were more T.V. movies than regular movies. They became less common over time but never went away. They just added a lot of sugar and added the name Hallmark to them, and kept the crap coming.
Director
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The Main Players
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Laura
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Claire
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Baru
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Ranu
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Synopsis:
A secret cult of mythological god worshipers resides inside a labyrinth of mountain caves in the Philippine islands. Death is cheated through the use of an amazing plant leaf (it looks a lot like a maple leaf), and blood letting of the young and attractive; big boobs are required.
Review:
Who writes this stuff, and how can we have them punished? There is nothing scary about this movie in any way other than the fact it goes on for 88 minutes. Honestly, given the choice between these 88 minutes and 88 minutes at the dentist; I would have a serious dilemma on my hands, and I hate the dentist. It isn’t very often that I pull down the big screen to let it roll back up, turn of the projector and after just a few minutes, start wandering around the house looking for things to do. Is this a critical plot moment in the movie? I don’t know but I'mwondering if that picture on the wall is straight. Uhggg!
At least when a movie is real bad you can make fun of it. This one was difficult. It all starts in a bar in Manila
Eventually they emerge from the sewer system into what looks suspiciously like a river in Colorado
When their journey is done, they find themselves within a complicated cave network carved into a mountain presumably for the purpose of making visitors confused. Of course this is a made for T.V. movie so it’s like two cave sets shot from different angles all the time. It’s amazing what they used to get away with when you couldn’t say, “Hey pause that. Back it up so I can see it again.” Of course with this movie not being able to watch it at your convenience was a blessing. Let’s get to the meat of it.
This movie is simply an excuse to show reasonably well endowed women tramp around in outfits that basically resemble strips of cheap cloth. Remember this was the ‘70s, so this was both art and genius. The bad guy Baru and his sister Ranu spend their spare time having their minions tie up the good looking girls, and remove their blood just a little bit at a time; well, a chalice full. Mixed with their magic maple leaf they drink the blood so they can be immortal, and look hot by ‘70s standards. That’s it kids. That’s the scary part.
No creatures hanging from the cave, no dark evil zombies leaping out of corners, and not even a real monster of any kind. Hell, even the bloodletting is done out on rock slabs in a sunny courtyard. In California this could easily be mistaken as the latest New Age craze. Each time our heroine Laura tries to escape we’re shown just how futile it can be. What can she do? Even though the self-proclaimed gods of Baru and Ranu know that leaving would end their immortality, Laura manages to convince him to help her escape. Now they race through the jungle in the same endless boring way they got there in the first place only faster; sort of. I could tell you how it ends, but I see no reason you shouldn’t suffer just as I did; provided you want to watch this.
Lessons Learned:
- Manila has huge sewers you can canoe through.
- Greek Gods did not vanish, they just went on a South Pacific vacation.
- Blood is the 6th food group.
- Elvis influenced everyone.
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