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Synopsis:
As the world gathers to watch the spectacle of a new
unknown comet passing close to the Earth, few suspect its cosmic radiation will
reduce the lucky ones to piles of dust, while the unlucky ones turn to zombies
leaving two Valley Girls to save the world.
Review:
The 80’s were strange and not just because of the overlap
from the disco era. It’s good to remember we always learn something from the
eras we want to forget. At least disco should be remembered by everyone,
especially men. It was a short period of time when men strived to dress well
when out for the night. I know, some knob always takes it too far and shows up
in a denim jump suit, but I like to think that person was raised wrong, it’s not
their fault. So how does this tie into today’s film? Simple, this is the story
of two young ladies entering womanhood and considering their choice of weapons,
they were raised right!
Regina and Samantha are a couple of young free spirited sisters
with a cranky mean step mother trying to kill their buzz. It’s the eve of a big
comet event as it comes close to the earth for the first time in thousands of
years. The comet becomes a disaster bringing some sort of strange radiation
that turns everyone to dust except those protected from the elements by steel.
So if you spent the night in a steel garden shed or in a film vault, you would
be fine. Even being deep underground was no help for the scientists living in
the desert to study it all. They learned some hard lessons about cosmic
radiation, dust, and their poorly designed ventilation system.
So Regina stays out for the night where she works at the local
bijou and spends it in the film vault surviving the comet. Earlier in the
evening Samantha has a run in with Delores (step mom), gets punched out, so she
hides from the celebration in a metal garden shed hoping Delores will think she
ran away. After a brief battle with a comet
zombie, Regina returns home to find Sam clued out to what’s happened and she
learns the terrible truth.
Sam discovers radio broadcasting going on and they set
out to discover the source in the hopes they are not the only ones. Of course
the radio station is automated and the only thing behind the microphone is a
pile of red dust. It takes a few minutes, but as soon as the girls realize they
are alone, Hector, the easy going happy Hispanic truck driver shows up. Still
riding high on her surge of puberty hormones, Sam is the first to recognize the
significance of Hector’s gender. If it is the end, it would be a lot more fun
having a guy along for the ride. In typical fashion, Regina and Hector don’t
seem compatible which is the standard in pair bonding; they are destined to
live out the apocalypse together. At least he doesn’t look like a truck driver
from an Eastwood or Krisstofferson movie. 
Eventually they have to split up. Hector has to check on
his Mom, so while he is away the girls do what they do second best; first they
get guns then they head to the mall. It’s a nice bouncy fun montage as we watch
the girls wanting to just have fun with the appropriate soundtrack for them to
bounce to. Unknown to them, there are a few zombie guys that partially survived
in the loading dock. They don’t know they have no future, but the girls are
saved by the desert scientists coming to their rescue. They are declared to be
as good as dead, and the woman scientist pretends to kill Sam with an injection
– it’s OK she will wake up later for the rescue.
Enter good old evil Geoffrey Lewis, often seen next to
Clint Eastwood, as the leader of the desert dwelling scientists.
Lewis is Doctor Carter
and he has plans for Regina and a couple of other little kids, as in plans to
remove their blood on a regular basis. They want to put them in a coma and then
use their blood to fix and replace their own dying life juice. The future is
bleak for the world and even more so once Hector and Sam meet back up with a
plan to get Regina and the kids out of there. They have to take out the
scientists to make it happen, but they were doomed from the start. Leaving just
a burning crater in the desert, the girls, Hector, and the kids get ready to
start their new life together leaving Sam feeling like a fifth wheel until a
fast talking and driving young man comes through town. Let the repopulation of
the Earth begin, valley girl style.
Lessons Learned:
- There
is no prescribed form of dress code for facing the comet apocalypse, but
cheer leader outfit seems fairly acceptable.
- If
you stay far enough from the zombies, there’s a good chance you can take
them out later with a dust-buster.
- Scientists
living underground in the desert are just like the regular ones but don’t
see so good in the day and look like perverts.
- You
don’t have to like shopping to have fun at the mall.
