When I was a kid, wrestling was a Saturday late morning staple. Along with my fellow little elementary goons we sat mesmerized in front of our curving picture tube TV’s wishing there was some way to pause, or replay the bone crunching move just witnessed. Amazing characters like Sailor White, Tokyo Joe and the Sheik just to name a few, and all of them a villain at some point. They were the guys we loved to hate. We all picked out favourites, and you could tell a lot about a guy by which demented evil villain he aligned himself with.
If you picked Tokyo Joe, chances are you had a bit of a soft spot for the underdog, and if you picked Andre the Giant; you just liked a sure thing. But the most important thing back then was how quickly you could adapt to a changing situation. You had to be sharp and ready to switch who you were routing for at a moments notice. It was so important to make certain you were ready to say, “No, I wanted the Sheik to loose!” We all needed to feel like we picked a winner, except when it came to Evil Knievil; even when he lost, we thought he won. We weren’t that smart, but we did know how to play outside.
Director | |
The Main Players | |
Super Argo | |
Prof. Wedland Wond | |
Gloria Devon |
Synopsis:
A super powered professional wrestler is employed by the United Nations to uncover who, or what is behind the kidnapping of international elite athletes.
Review:
This movie is fun. It’s just that simple. Super Argo comes from a time when action ruled. As long as you can keep things moving forward it doesn’t really matter how many holes there are in the plot. Super Argo and his partner the Hindu Faker Kamir are ridiculous, and yet they are compelling to watch. Part of it is in how interesting they are, but also you just have to know what crazy shit they’re going to do next. Levitating above the poison gas, or modifying his E-Type Jaguar to have massive blades pop out all over it are just a few examples. The point here is that you have no idea what’s coming next, but you can be sure something is coming.
The something is the Faceless Giants, sort of mechanical robotic men made from people. They’re not giants. In fact most of the cast is taller than the giants. They are not faceless either. Just a stocking pulled over their faces (did I mention B movies are cheap). But there is this strange methodical mechanical like audio effect combined with some seriously creepy music making them suspenseful. When you watch how slow and robotic they move, it gives you a better understanding on how sound and music can play a role in the drama. You could outrun these guys on a lawn tractor and yet they are menacing at all times. Who can stop them?
Well I don’t have to tell you Super Argo can, because you know that by now. It’s more about how he does it, or does everything for that matter. Argo is a brute; pure power in a ridiculous costume that never stops. He’s the sledge hammer the jeweller pulls out to fix your watch once and for all. I won’t tell you how it all ends, but I can say by the time Super Argo finishes his investigation, there are a lot fewer faceless giants robbing banks and kidnapping women. Of course, there are a lot fewer elite athletes in the world as well.
I don’t know if you’ve figured this out yet, but the faceless giants are in fact the missing athletes, and they have been turned into a ‘60s version of the cyborg. I’m not sure if they can be cured or recovered to their pre-faceless giant state. The funny thing is I don’t think Super Argo or Kamir know either, but then given the way they do away with them I don’t think they care. Got to love the ‘60s man! Kill first and figure out where you went wrong later.
Lessons Learned:
- Wrestling is real and you can get killed.
- You can get a bullet proof skin tight spandex suit (all though I don’t think they called it that yet).
- Being a real man means wearing your underwear on the outside of your leotards and not eating quiche.
- Super heroes hang around the house in their super outfit just waiting for bad stuff to happen or for company to visit.
- Quick-sand is a faster way to deal with super villains than the justice system.
